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· Prince of Paraprosdokians and Epistemophilia
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I'm seeing more and more images of dogs as avatars. I don't know why. I tried to teach my dog how to use a slingshot, and her dewclaws kept fouling up the bands, On top of that, she complained "But daddy, I don't have opposing thumbs", as if that's a viable excuse. My dog's a wimp. Maybe she's not a dog but a pussy. Well, what can one expect from a Deer-head Chihuahua. Chihuahuas rank low on all the dog intelligence lists. Maybe I'm too demanding. I did teach her to ring a small cowbell when she wanted to go outside, Now she's got me trained - she rings the bell and: I get off my butt, put on my sock and shoes, pull the leash on her, open the door, unlock the gate, wait for her to do her thing, then do everything backwards. Now who else has a dog that's got them trained? Maybe she's not so dumb afterall...

I betcha that my Labrador Achiever wouldn't have complained - at least she's wearing a slingshot in my avatar. It's a fashion accessory to match her tongue, as you can see.

Anyway, have a Happy Woof Year!

THWACK!

Sending more nonsense, at no charge, to your doorstep well, ok, to your silly machine
 

· Prince of Paraprosdokians and Epistemophilia
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2,783 Posts
Discussion Starter · #3 ·
My Catahoula tried to eat the last one I showed her.

Sent from my LG-TP260 using Tapatalk
It's a problem because they taste like chicken.

THWACK!
 

· Prince of Paraprosdokians and Epistemophilia
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2,783 Posts
Discussion Starter · #5 ·
My Catahoula tried to eat the last one I showed her.

Sent from my LG-TP260 using Tapatalk
Seriously though (THWACK! can be serious, really?) - I have a container of pepper spray attached to the leash, because I know she looks tasty to other dogs.

THWACK!
 

· Premium Member
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11,034 Posts
Mine never really took to shootn but he'll lay right in front of the catch box and never flinch. He goes everywhere I go, we call it "working".
If I only had it so good. LoL ????.
Happy New Year fellas!!
 

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· Prince of Paraprosdokians and Epistemophilia
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2,783 Posts
Agree Jake, now will you please talk my wife into letting us get one again now that she just retired, lol ?

I told her it's not like you don't have time to take care of it now......and THATS when I got the look.

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Of course you got "the look" - "retired" to her means "no more work", and you inferred that she should take on some of the dog tasks.

Brother , I'm afraid that you're in the doghouse now!

Of course, as a dog lover, I'm on your side.

THWACK!
 

· Neophyte
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2,346 Posts
Agree Jake, now will you please talk my wife into letting us get one again now that she just retired, lol ?

I told her it's not like you don't have time to take care of it now......and THATS when I got the look.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
See what you got to do is explain how she will be gaining an awesome companion that will love her unconditionally and enrich her life in many meaningful and funny ways. And she will be saving a life too. :)
 

· Prince of Paraprosdokians and Epistemophilia
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2,783 Posts
Discussion Starter · #12 ·
The last dog that I brought home, my wife not only gave me THAT look , she came unglued! I think she would have left me if she have had a place to go!

Six weeks later, that was HER dog, and having her was the best thing she'd ever done! Dogs will do that to a women.
Of course, if a woman is a dog, then she's companioned herself.

THWACK!
 

· Prince of Paraprosdokians and Epistemophilia
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2,783 Posts
Discussion Starter · #13 ·
Mine never really took to shootn but he'll lay right in front of the catch box and never flinch. He goes everywhere I go, we call it "working".
If I only had it so good. LoL .
Happy New Year fellas!!
Strange - your catchbox looks just like a fireplace...

THWACK!
 

· Mojave Mo
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5,627 Posts
Just about the time that I found this Forum my wife suggested we add a second dog to the house because she felt that I needed a 'therapy dog'. I was in a mental place that was pretty dark that culminated in a 9mm round going through a fridge door and into the hot water heater in the garage. You can call it Devine intervention but I am really not sure how I missed myself. I cannot recall who that person was, and why they were hurting so bad. My wife says that this mutt saved my life. I will not agree with her because she stayed with me, through me, and did it with broad shoulders. Somehow this dog knew right away what its job was going to be and has done it in a way that didn't make me feel like he was a burden to my well being. I have kids, two that are grown, a Mum, sister and brother and aunts and uncles but the pressure one feels to go on a journey of depression even with somebody they love is a shi* experience that my dog Ollie has never wavered from.
 

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· Prince of Paraprosdokians and Epistemophilia
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2,783 Posts
Discussion Starter · #15 ·
Just about the time that I found this Forum my wife suggested we add a second dog to the house because she felt that I needed a 'therapy dog'. I was in a mental place that was pretty dark that culminated in a 9mm round going through a fridge door and into the hot water heater in the garage. You can call it Devine intervention but I am really not sure how I missed myself. I cannot recall who that person was, and why they were hurting so bad. My wife says that this mutt saved my life. I will not agree with her because she stayed with me, through me, and did it with broad shoulders. Somehow this dog knew right away what its job was going to be and has done it in a way that didn't make me feel like he was a burden to my well being. I have kids, two that are grown, a Mum, sister and brother and aunts and uncles but the pressure one feels to go on a journey of depression even with somebody they love is a shi* experience that my dog Ollie has never wavered from.
The beautiful thing about a dog is their innate quality of empathy. They sense our moods and act as non-prescription pain-killers, asking for little in return.

I love dogs, and that's reflected by my two dozen of so books about dogs in one of my bookcases.

Best2U,

THWACK!
 

· Prince of Paraprosdokians and Epistemophilia
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2,783 Posts
Discussion Starter · #17 ·
Beautiful companion
Just goes to prove that some of the best companions are real dogs.

Go ahead, ponder that one...

THWACK!
 
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