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Missing Barns and Telling Yarns
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
As a child (4 yo) I was attacked by geese at a local park while with my mom. She scooped up my younger sister while I ran behind, having these terrifying birds hiss and nip at me. Ever since then I've loathed them. I can't shoot worth crap (and I know you aren't supposed to shoot birds on the ground), but I've fantasized about sniping one in the head with my slingshot. I live for the day when a goose will once again challenge me to combat. I'm ready. I've been training. I can punt a soccer ball clear over my house. I can grab a goose neck with snake like quickness (the trick is to practice on a swinging garden hose). Some people go to the local lake to relax and fish, but I go there to avenge my sullied honor. Soon... soon...

Does anyone else have a deep and abiding hatred of geese?
 

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My son - age 3 was also attacked by geese. We were in the park for some family photos. He loathes them to this day. This was 30 years ago and my son is an excellent golfer. I suspect his harbors similar dreams of wreaking havoc on geese with a well-placed shot from a 9 iron.

On the other hand, our 7 y.o. godson terrorizes geese with his frisbee at the disc golf course.
 

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Missing Barns and Telling Yarns
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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
I saw a video of a goose backing down a heifer. Those things don't know what fear is... :hmm:
 
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lol. You've really put some thought into this I can tell. I can only say what I would do.
I'm an old man that doesn't give a crap any more and it's not healthy to live with such pent up frustration.
No one is at the park on Thanksgiving or Christmas. Would be good days to go for it!
 

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Missing Barns and Telling Yarns
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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
I honestly don't think 90% of my community would care if I did it in broad daylight. We're overrun with Canadian Geese. Huge flocks camp out in the fields and ponds right next to our highways (lots of horse farms and office parks on the outskirts of town). I've routinely had to stop on the highway with dozens of other drivers to let these fat menaces cross the road. 10 minutes with some stout rubber and lead ammo, and I'd feed the whole neighborhood for Christmas!
 
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In Malaysia, it's not uncommon for farmers to keep geese as guard beasts for their properties. They can be more effective than dog's cos they can fly; they are fearless and an angry one is terrifying and unpredictable. You can try to face a dog down and retreat slowly, but with geese there is nothing you can do. Those things charge. There are also many stories of little boys getting pecked in the pecker and they are forever traumatized. I don't blame you for hating them. I love them though because they are delicious roasted and their rendered fat is great on just about anything! Go find yourself some roast goose and enjoy it maybe it might make you feel good!? Cantonese style roast goose is friggin delicious.
 

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I harbor no ill will towards geese but goats are truly the spawn of all that is evil and vile. As a child we pet sat one for an uncle. It was chained to a 350 motor block and it would chase me dragging that engine block. Fortunately I was faster up the mountain side and would lead it into thickets where the chain would get bound up. Then the abomination would eat itself free for the underbrush, further proof of the evil within.

Good times being a kid, right????
 

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See The Target
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As a child (4 yo) I was attacked by geese at a local park while with my mom. She scooped up my younger sister while I ran behind, having these terrifying birds hiss and nip at me. Ever since then I've loathed them. I can't shoot worth crap (and I know you aren't supposed to shoot birds on the ground), but I've fantasized about sniping one in the head with my slingshot. I live for the day when a goose will once again challenge me to combat. I'm ready. I've been training. I can punt a soccer ball clear over my house. I can grab a goose neck with snake like quickness (the trick is to practice on a swinging garden hose). Some people go to the local lake to relax and fish, but I go there to avenge my sullied honor. Soon... soon...

Does anyone else have a deep and abiding hatred of geese?
You may want to check with the Kentucky Fish and Wildlife Department . Migratory birds are protected and there are specified hunting seasons and specific methods of hunting them . Pretty hefty fines and jail time for violations . Game officers don't care about deep and abiding hatred .
 

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They can definitely get mean! I paddle a lot on a fairly narrow section of river nearby and going past them with their young is always nerve wracking. They start bobbing their heads up and down and make a growling sound..... I paddle smoothly and let them know I'm veering away.
 

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I was attacked by a rooster once. The brave animal just went to my eyes with his claws. But I had a stick in my hand and gave him a nice stroke in his head, not so hard to kill him of course. After that day, believe it or not, the rooster never bothered me again. They can be corageous but they're not stupid.
 

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Missing Barns and Telling Yarns
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I harbor no ill will towards geese but goats are truly the spawn of all that is evil and vile. As a child we pet sat one for an uncle. It was chained to a 350 motor block and it would chase me dragging that engine block. Fortunately I was faster up the mountain side and would lead it into thickets where the chain would get bound up. Then the abomination would eat itself free for the underbrush, further proof of the evil within.

Good times being a kid, right????
Hahaha :D If you don't grow up as a kid and have some hair raising adventures, you didn't do childhood right! Goats just have an evil look with those slanted pupils. I'm fond of them when I visit farms, but then again I've never had one chase me through thickets.
 

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Missing Barns and Telling Yarns
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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
In Malaysia, it's not uncommon for farmers to keep geese as guard beasts for their properties. They can be more effective than dog's cos they can fly; they are fearless and an angry one is terrifying and unpredictable. You can try to face a dog down and retreat slowly, but with geese there is nothing you can do. Those things charge. There are also many stories of little boys getting pecked in the pecker and they are forever traumatized. I don't blame you for hating them. I love them though because they are delicious roasted and their rendered fat is great on just about anything! Go find yourself some roast goose and enjoy it maybe it might make you feel good!? Cantonese style roast goose is friggin delicious.
Sounds like a therapeutic lunch! We had goose for Christmas dinner a couple years ago, and it did much to salve my childhood wounds. Super delicious too!
 

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Missing Barns and Telling Yarns
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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
As a child (4 yo) I was attacked by geese at a local park while with my mom. She scooped up my younger sister while I ran behind, having these terrifying birds hiss and nip at me. Ever since then I've loathed them. I can't shoot worth crap (and I know you aren't supposed to shoot birds on the ground), but I've fantasized about sniping one in the head with my slingshot. I live for the day when a goose will once again challenge me to combat. I'm ready. I've been training. I can punt a soccer ball clear over my house. I can grab a goose neck with snake like quickness (the trick is to practice on a swinging garden hose). Some people go to the local lake to relax and fish, but I go there to avenge my sullied honor. Soon... soon...

Does anyone else have a deep and abiding hatred of geese?
You may want to check with the Kentucky Fish and Wildlife Department . Migratory birds are protected and there are specified hunting seasons and specific methods of hunting them . Pretty hefty fines and jail time for violations . Game officers don't care about deep and abiding hatred .
No, it's no joke. I believe they are protected. Our local park was shut down because a duck built her nest on the playground, and they had to rope it off till the ducklings hatched and left. We also had a boat at the lake get stuck because geese made a nest on the back of it. Poor guy had to delay his fishing till they were done with his boat :D
 

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Geese are alright at a healthy distance, or even better, behind a high fence. No, I don't really like those noisy "pooping machines".

If anything, learning how to use a lasso (you know, far west-style) might be quite useful to loop it around the neck of one of these (attacking) birds: a pull on the noose, and it's game over for birdie aggressive :naughty:.
 

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I harbor no ill will towards geese but goats are truly the spawn of all that is evil and vile. As a child we pet sat one for an uncle. It was chained to a 350 motor block and it would chase me dragging that engine block. Fortunately I was faster up the mountain side and would lead it into thickets where the chain would get bound up. Then the abomination would eat itself free for the underbrush, further proof of the evil within.

Good times being a kid, right????
Is this the goat version of Cujo?!?!
 
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