Sarge, I can see only bad things coming out of this proposed competition!I will subject myself to ... being slammed by Joerg to get one of his slingshots. Just think of all the bragging I could do...
I strongly encourage you to forego the arm and leg confrontations and proceed directly to begging!
As a physical degenerate, it's what I would do. (And the local paramedics will respect you, too -- for sparing them the inconvenience of having to revive you at the inevitable emergency response!)
...Oh, and keep this quote from Falstaff handy: "The better part of valor is discretion, in the which better part I have sav'd my life." (I use this one all the time to eloquently redeem myself after chickening out!)