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As you know my daughter started a go fund me page for her service dog which needs a second surgery. I've paid for 2 surgeries for her dog. But she doesn't want me to have to pay for a third. She knows I've paid for $9000 in medical bills for my self in the last three months. Since she's unable to work right now because of her medical condition she set up the go fund me page for her service dog. As of now the only people that have donated are some family members with personal checks. Not one of our so called friends have donated anything. These are people I've loaned money to . People when their work tools were stolen I bought them new tools so they could work. Paid to have their cars worked on when they didn't have the money. When they didn't have money to pay their rent paid it for them. And not one had donated a dime. Well I'm done with them all. Next time they need money the doors closed. So much for so called friends.

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Cjw,

I am so sorry to hear this. Money does weird stuff to some people. I hope your daughter mends and her dog, too.

But I am a human... I particularly hope for you to mend as well as can be. You were a big influence on me this past year.

Glad you are here and can vent in this very kind space.
 

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As you know my daughter started a go fund me page for her service dog which needs a second surgery. I've paid for 2 surgeries for her dog. But she doesn't want me to have to pay for a third. She knows I've paid for $9000 in medical bills for my self in the last three months. Since she's unable to work right now because of her medical condition she set up the go fund me page for her service dog. As of now the only people that have donated are some family members with personal checks. Not one of our so called friends have donated anything. These are people I've loaned money to . People when their work tools were stolen I bought them new tools so they could work. Paid to have their cars worked on when they didn't have the money. When they didn't have money to pay their rent paid it for them. And not one had donated a dime. Well I'm done with them all. Next time they need money the doors closed. So much for so called friends.

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Sorry about that CJW. Disappointing to say the least. Yet, not surprising. Hope you don't mind the quote. It really stinks when we are let down by ones we think we would get support from.

2 Tim 3/16; "But Know this, that in the last days critical times hard to deal with will be here. For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, haughty, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, disloyal, having no natural affection, not open to any agreement, slanderers, without self-control, fierce, without love of goodness, betrayers, headstrong, puffed up with pride, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having an appearance of godliness but proving false to it's power; and from these turn away."
 

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Im so sorry the people you helped are not willing to help you. As MakoPat said, you are a very respectable gentleman.
 

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I look at favors like some people look at gambling. I really only throw favors that I can afford to lose. I showed my new boss the PP Uni-Boyscout that Skarrd slung to me. Within an hour two people approached me asking about the 'really cool slingshots I am giving away'.....!? I laughed for a second when I realized my PP wasn't coming back, but I did set the record straight! At the end of this thread CjW you will come to terms with the true selfless reasons that you have been available to so many people in your life. Good people aren't born, they are made.

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Well sorry to here that . don't know what to tell you , only that Most people I know just put the dogs to sleep when they get very sick they say it's not worth the cost or risk and suffering of the dog to do a operation on one most of the time .
I guess it depends everyone feels differently about there pets . Did the vet guaranty that this operation %100 make the dog healthy again . If not maybe you should consider not spending the money. It's a hard decision to make but sometimes you just have to let go .
 

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CJW - sucks.

I try (its not always easy) to give out help freely without the expectation of return on the 'investment'. it has allowed me to accept when I have been disappointed in the same way. And honestly its surprising some of these people (guys who I have actually done paid work for, who owed me and agreed to pay) who have let me down - and in some cases so far as to have knowingly allowed my family to go hungry.

I have also been helped many times when I have been in a bind and I have reciprocated when possible or however I can. Its also surprising who some of these people are.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Well sorry to here that . don't know what to tell you , only that Most people I know just put the dogs to sleep when they get very sick they say it's not worth the cost or risk and suffering of the dog to do a operation on one most of the time .
I guess it depends everyone feels differently about there pets . Did the vet guaranty that this operation %100 make the dog healthy again . If not maybe you should consider not spending the money. It's a hard decision to make but sometimes you just have to let go .
The dogs young and it's a ACL injury. The orthopedic vet guarantees his work. Plus the dogs been through extensive training to be a service dog.

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My wife and I lost our twenty-nine year old son a couple of months ago after his spending 29 years on a ventilator in an ICU unit in our home with around the clock RN nursing care. I have provided many hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of free dentistry to my large extended family and with very few exceptions they have never done anything in return - not even visit their cousin, my son.

I have learned a fair bit in the process.

A friend who owes you money is no longer really a friend.

Some people are givers and some people are takers and never the twain shall meet. Some, like yourself, see the bigger picture, think in terms of community and understand the value of charity, others do not.

Each and every time I give to people I have to completely give without any expectation of anything in return. If you do otherwise you will be dissapointed.

The vast majority of people (not just family) that I give to will never return the favor. For whatever psychological reason, they feel entitled and under no obligation.

If you try to change them it will not work.

You have to come to a decision when it comes to family. You have to decide to discard all expectations and maintain family relations or confront them and isolate yourself from them. I have maintained relations with family for over three decades doing this.

It still hurts but you have to let it go or it will drive you crazy.
 

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No other shooting sport compares.
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You cannot expect people to just hand over their hard earned money. Never EXPECT and RELY on charity. The dog is not other peoples responsibility.

That being said, I still feel bad about the situation.
 

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You cannot expect people to just hand over their hard earned money. Never EXPECT and RELY on charity. The dog is not other peoples responsibility.

That being said, I still feel bad about the situation.
They take almost $500 dollars a week in taxes out of my check to pay for programs for people who's not my responsibility. Not expecting charity but maybe some helpfrom people I've helped from being thrown in the street because they couldn't pay their bills at one time and now are doing well. If I had the money back that I've given to these so called friends over the years I'd be retired now. The bank of CJW is closed for these people now. I'll pay for the dogs surgery again. Come Super bowl Sunday they'll wonder why their not invited to the party anymore. No more eating and drinking on my dime for these people. No more buying boxes and boxes of Girl Scout cookies so their kids can win something. I'm going to save all kinds of money.

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Cjw the only reason I did not contribute to the go fund me, is I’m helping my Mother In Law, and my two great nieces. You are an amazing gentleman, and I hope the best for you and your family. Unfortunately some people go through life like they drive Some people come up on a construction sight where the sign says” merge one way or another” but there will always be that certain person who refuses to get over, because they know someone will let their Sorry %#$& in. CJW, you remind me so much of what Al Capogne said, “Dont mistake my kindness for weakness “. Wish you and your family all the best
 

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Wasn't expecting people from the forum to donate. But I've got so called friends that I've bailed out of money issues for years and they can't even donate $10 . Even though there well off now. Ridiculous. On the bright side an elderly couple I've been friends with for years. Sadly he passed away 10 years ago. His wife called me and said she was going to make a large donation. True friends shine through.

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As you know my daughter started a go fund me page for her service dog which needs a second surgery. I've paid for 2 surgeries for her dog. But she doesn't want me to have to pay for a third. She knows I've paid for $9000 in medical bills for my self in the last three months. Since she's unable to work right now because of her medical condition she set up the go fund me page for her service dog. As of now the only people that have donated are some family members with personal checks. Not one of our so called friends have donated anything. These are people I've loaned money to . People when their work tools were stolen I bought them new tools so they could work. Paid to have their cars worked on when they didn't have the money. When they didn't have money to pay their rent paid it for them. And not one had donated a dime. Well I'm done with them all. Next time they need money the doors closed. So much for so called friends.

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Do you have a link to the go-fund-me page?

Normally I contribute to St. Jude's Children's Hospital, and will continue to do so... but you seem pretty passionate about this animal, and if it helps your daughter, then we could probably find our way clear to donate a little something at least.
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
As you know my daughter started a go fund me page for her service dog which needs a second surgery. I've paid for 2 surgeries for her dog. But she doesn't want me to have to pay for a third. She knows I've paid for $9000 in medical bills for my self in the last three months. Since she's unable to work right now because of her medical condition she set up the go fund me page for her service dog. As of now the only people that have donated are some family members with personal checks. Not one of our so called friends have donated anything. These are people I've loaned money to . People when their work tools were stolen I bought them new tools so they could work. Paid to have their cars worked on when they didn't have the money. When they didn't have money to pay their rent paid it for them. And not one had donated a dime. Well I'm done with them all. Next time they need money the doors closed. So much for so called friends.

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Do you have a link to the go-fund-me page?
Normally I contribute to St. Jude's Children's Hospital, and will continue to do so... but you seem pretty passionate about this animal, and if it helps your daughter, then we could probably find our way clear to donate a little something at least.
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The huge advantage to getting older is that you get to pick your friends without regard to social/political influences. My advice (which, of course you have not asked for) is that you forgive them, don't burn any bridges, and look instead for new reationships with people who do not like you for what you can do for them.

It also helps to do a bit of self analysis and try why I/you are such people pleasers. There;s always a payoff whether we realize it or not.
 
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